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iloubnan.info: Why did you choose to leave engineering for coaching?
Rita Hatem: Throughout the years, the workplace was structured around one single value; the financial value to the detriment of all others. The keywords became: Performance and profit at all cost. Other values were left aside such as competence, work quality and above all respect of the human person, which I consider to be a key value, for it is what creates performance and is not a performance tool. What is performance if not a consequence of the well being of the company’s most important resource, and that is the human resource. This is part of the reason I decided to leave the corporate world, in order to live my passion. I had always been passionate about all that is Human and that is why I chose to study psychology. I then enrolled in coaching classes in Paris, at the French – Canadian Coach Academy.
What about coaching? How does it work?
Coaching is a discipline that deals with all obstacles and everything that blocks the person in their day to day development. It is, in essence the discipline of present time. A person’s power to be and live lays in the present and this time also bears one’s past through the person’s memories, dreams, beliefs, life scenarios and also one’s potential to build up their future.
Coaching helps the person become progressively aware of what happens on an interior level, all that causes conflicts, failures, all that has led them to a certain life scenario. More importantly, it helps the person be aware of theircapabilities and learn how to act differently to find an exit and move forward.
Coaching helps the person overcome their past, and, above all, learn how to move forward to be consistent with oneself and live out their well-being.
This discipline is based on questioning. The question asked at the right time and within the context of the person’s history will lead this person to revelations about themselves and to stepping into a dynamic of change.
What is the specificity of coaching over other therapies?
Coaching differs from therapy by its technique and objective. Compared to psychoanalytic therapy for instance, coaching doesn’t aim to work on the whole past of a person; it will work on the past that is at work and in direct relation with the objective the person came to work on. Also, coaching does not just reframe this past in terms of orientation and time, but will continue to accompany the person during “the how to do” stage, here and now, in order to reach his objective.
Now in comparison to behavioral cognitive therapies, coaching is not confined to the phobic object or the symptom, but it also deals with the relationship at the root of this phobia and therefore, leads the person to a certain point of autonomy regarding their whole life in general, without limitation to a certain object or situation.
Are there any coaching institutions in Lebanon just like abroad?
Not for the moment.
Is there any « Lebanese » specificity that encourages people to have your consultancy?
I would say that the human person is the same everywhere. However, the environment in which a person lives in an important factor that may reveal or provoke some specific problems or emphasize certain dynamics. War in Lebanon certainly increased certain aspects of living among the Lebanese such as stress, anxiety, somatization, trauma, over-adaptation… It had a seismic effect on the identity of the Lebanese on different levels such as security, references and values regarding the meaning of life.
So, in answer to your question regarding the specificity of Lebanese who consult me, , then I would say that the problems of individuals are the same here as elsewhere but they are part of a specifically Lebanese social frame.
The « superficial » side of the Lebanese society is often addressed by the media. Does this aspect exist on the individual level?
First of all, it must be said that the media stereotypes do not apply to all Lebanese. However, if it is true that some of them do confine themselves to living on the surface, my experience showed me that many live and develop their being far beyond this frontier.
Let us say that perhaps the media and social sphere is monopolized by those who promote a certain “superficial” lifestyle where appearances come first. In fact, this is partly, one of the consequences of the insecurities sparked by war in Lebanon. Also, I want to add that this is a phase; it’s like a certain stage on the “reconstruction site of the being”.
Can you give us some characteristic traits of your clients?
My clients are mostly women, aged 20 years old minimum. There is really no upper age limit. Problems that lead them to me are often related to issues of self-confidence, disturbance of self-esteem, relationships, relationships between parents and adolescents, phobias, stress, anxiety, somatization ... Sometimes, people come to me with a certain precise problem but they can also come to my cabinet without knowing exactly want they are looking for, simply expressing a certain sense of discomfort. Here, we call things by their name, then, we define the work to be done together.
How do you proceed during the sessions?
Sessions are run on weekly basis; they take about 1:30 to 2h. The number of sessions depends on the set objective, the progress and the rhythm of the person. However, coaching remains an efficient and powerful support discipline with rapid deadlines.
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